Solelyforhim’s Blog

What happens when all your ideal scenarios, picture of the future, even the image of your future that’s based on your conviction is blurred?

One big weakness or (depending how one sees it) of mine is the pursuit of perfection. Guess this also influenced my nephew. There was once when he refused to eat his favourite braised egg when my mom accidentally chipped off some parts of it while trying to scoup it up. HAHA.

Truth to be told, i don’t like failures, (i will just keep blaming myself). However, God taught me what it means to gaze upon His grace and not just focusing on myself. But the thing that’s on my mind is that after speaking to Shar on Monday night, i really can’t convince myself to contribute or giving and living my all to something that i won’t see it in future (something that i all along believed that i will see it).

I hope my decision will not disappoint myself…

Many of us will have this kinda feeling once in awhile…

Being here in…

Life is pretty like a maze to me now. You know where youhave started, but you will never know how you are going to find your way through to your destination. It’s exciting huh? UOL results will be out in late Aug or early Sept (perhaps, i am getting older, thus i am now thinking far ahead, however at the same time, how i wish that day won’t come so fast). It’s either i will continue to study (hmmm, takes alot of faith to see how God is gonna move in my maths paper) or i will have to work.

Personally, i don’t know if it’s becos of my made-up or it has to do with personality, i don’t really enjoy the process of finding my way in the maze, when i realised there’s “no way through”, then i will have to detour back and find my way back to the destination. Allow me to note down my thoughts deeper, why? 1. I think it’s a waste of time. 2. I hate the fact that i am in a maze? HAHAHA.

Come to think about it, even so it’s my make-up or whatsoever, if things could be as simpler as knowing where you will start, and where you will end  up at, things will be a little bit different. How things would be diff? 1. BORING. (imagine you play monopoly board games, you know the trick on how to win, it’s no longer fun. Fun was becos your friend’s responses, decisions are unpredictable and when you win the game, that feeling is like AWESOME cos you defeated all your friend’s strategies. 2. There’s no need for God to work in my life. Cos pretty much i will know where i will be aheading, and even if there’s a block, i still know how to find and work things out…

So which is better?

I know i am weird, *i don’t like my life to as plain as plain water, neither too exciting that i can’t expect what it is to come*.

But one thing i am sure of. I have a God who will elevates me to a bird’s eye view of things, just that i have to wait (this principle still applies even when you’re taking a lift, you still got to wait for the elevator to lift you up to the level that you want to go), and someone who sees my future ahead than what i can see.

Ok, great to settle my thoughts here.

Still believing…

Rev 3:8

“⁸ I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no-one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.”